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Most people move out of the family home and set up their own place during their late teens to late 20s. Whether or not leaving goes smoothly depends on the reasons you are moving out and the nature of the relationship you have with your family. Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things.

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her at dear. I am the mother of three adult children who moved out of the family home to start their own lives.

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I lived alone for more than five years and I never had a problem with empty-nest syndrome. I cannot stress enough how much I loved the solitude. Four months ago, my year-old daughter moved back in with me with her dog!!!

Of course, if my children need shelter, my home is always open, so it was only natural that I would welcome her and her dog. The problem is that she has an, ahem, active social life. Since she moved into my home, there has been a steady stream of men coming over and spending time in her bedroom.

They usually only stay an hour or two, but this weekend I woke up to find a man leaving my house. So what to do now? In your mind, what constitutes a need for shelter, and is there a time limit one year? If there is a time limit, does your daughter know about it and is she taking steps to meet it, such as looking for an apartment, or a job that will make renting her own apartment possible?


Many parents say they want their kids to live independently, but then send mixed messages by failing to create the conditions that would support this desire. Here it will help to figure out what, exactly, bothers you about the people she brings over.

Or is your annoyance less about location and more about the kind of sex life she chooses to have? The feelings underlying your request likely informed its delivery, so I wonder whether your daughter is angry not just because she objects to your request, but because on top of that, she also feels judged.

It's one thing to like your peace and quiet, but an enraged family member who's not talking to you is very different from the quiet sanctuary you seem to enjoy. Your way of dealing with her immaturity is to try to cater to her anger how can I get her not to be mad at me for having this rule? If you want more privacy, you can find a more private living situation.

When adults are treated as less capable than they are, they actually become less capable—of making good choices, of holding themselves able, of seeing themselves clearly in relation to others. Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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Popular Latest. The Atlantic Crossword. Dear Therapist, I am the mother of three adult children who moved out of the family home to start their own lives.

Can you help me clarify for her my feelings on this subject?